The Missing Skill for Founders, Leaders & Anyone Striving for Success
How self-compassion and affirmations can transform resilience for founders and professionals
A Lesson From My 4-Year-Old Son on the Slopes
My husband has been skiing since childhood, so naturally, he was excited to get our 4-year-old son comfortable on the slopes.
But the day before we went to the mountains, my son shouted:
"I don’t want to go. I’m scared."
It wasn’t his very first experience—last year, when he was 3, he had practiced sliding down while holding onto his father. But this time was different. A year had passed, and he didn’t fully remember what it felt like.
He was in limbo—somewhere between knowing and not knowing.
I knelt beside him and acknowledged his feelings. "It’s normal to feel afraid, even when it’s something you’ve done before," I said.
Then I added, "But I also know you’re strong."
The next day, as we got ready, I reminded him:
💬 "You can do hard things."
💬 "You are brave."
Slowly, he nodded.
Step by step, he made his way up the mountain. And by the end of the day? He was skiing 😊
Why Do We Encourage Kids, But Tear Ourselves Down?
I recently came across a video of a father guiding his young girl through positive affirmations before school.
💬 "I am strong."
💬 "I am smart."
💬 "I work hard."
💬 "I am loved."
💬 "There is nobody better than me"
Watching it, I realized how powerful it was—not just for the child, but for anyone.
I’m now trying to introduce a similar ritual with my own 4-year-old son. I want him to grow up speaking to himself with kindness, confidence, and belief in his abilities.
But then I asked myself:
"Why do we teach this to children, yet speak to ourselves so harshly?"
Because if you’re a founder, executive, or ambitious professional, your inner dialogue may probably sound very different:
❌ “I’m not good enough.”
❌ “I should be further along by now.”
❌ “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”
We tell kids they are capable, resilient, and strong.
But when we face challenges ourselves, we say the opposite.
When things don’t go as planned, we often blame ourselves instead of recognizing that the path we’re on is just tough. Instead of lifting ourselves up, we criticize ourselves—like being hard on ourselves will somehow make us better.
And that’s a problem.
Because the way you talk to yourself matters.
How Negative Self-Talk Holds You Back
When we constantly tell ourselves we’re not enough, our brain perceives it as a threat and triggers our stress response:
⚡ Cortisol spikes → Increased anxiety, decreased creativity
⚡ Fear of failure grows → We hesitate instead of taking action
⚡ Motivation drops → Everything feels heavier, leading to burnout
On the other hand, self-compassion isn’t just “being nice to yourself”—it’s a powerful mental shift that rewires your brain for resilience and motivation.
It’s a skill backed by science.
How Positive Affirmations Actually Work (It’s Science, Not Just Optimism!)
Many founders dismiss affirmations as wishful thinking. But here’s the reality:
Athletes use them before high-stakes games.
Performers use them before stepping on stage.
Top executives use them before making big decisions.
Why? Because what we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes our reality.
Research shows that self-compassionate people are:
✅ More resilient – They recover from failures faster.
✅ Less likely to burn out – They stay motivated without emotional exhaustion.
✅ Better problem-solvers – A calm, clear mind leads to better decisions.
Self-compassion helps you stay clear-headed, adaptable, and resilient over the long run—essential qualities for lasting success.
How to Shift Your Inner Dialogue
If you’re used to being your own worst critic, self-compassion might feel unnatural at first. Here’s a simple way to start:
💭 Step 1: Notice Your Inner Critic
Become aware of your self-criticism. When you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," pause and label it:
"That’s self-doubt speaking, not reality."
🔁 Step 2: Reframe the Thought
Instead of “I’m failing,” try:
“This is hard, but I’m learning. I’m learning from this experience and getting stronger.”
💬 Step 3: Use an Affirmation That Feels True to You
If traditional affirmations feel forced, find one that works for you. Some examples:
👉“I can figure this out.”
👉“My success is not defined by today’s outcome.”
👉“I am allowed to be a work in progress.”
👉“Challenges don’t define me—they shape me.”
Think about how you feel reading these.
Now imagine how different your mindset could be if you made affirmations part of your daily routine.
The more you do this, the more you rewire your brain to build resilience instead of fear.
Closing Reflection: You Deserve the Same Kindness You Give Others
If a friend or loved one came to you saying, “I feel like I’m failing,” you wouldn’t say:
"Yeah, you should be doing better."
You’d say:
"Look at how much you’ve already done. You’re growing, even when you don’t see it yet."
So why do we talk to ourselves differently?
Next time you find yourself beating yourself up over progress, ask:
"What would I say if this were a friend?"
Because you deserve the same encouragement you give to others.
💡 A Personal Note:
I’ll be honest—I’m not perfect at this either. Affirmations don’t always come naturally to me, and I still catch myself falling into self-criticism.
But that’s exactly why I write these posts. I don’t just want to share these lessons—I want to internalize them, too.
This is a practice, not a one-time fix. So let’s learn together.
Let’s build success in a way that strengthens us—not breaks us. 💙
If This Resonates…
I write about resilience, growth, and the mindset shifts that help founders & professionals thrive.
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Footnote:
While writing about my son’s skiing experience, my heart aches for the mothers, fathers, and grandparents who lost their little ones in the Kartalkaya fire tragedy on the 21st of January. The indescribable pain of such loss is beyond words.
I hope for a world where those responsible are held accountable and where we all strive—both inwardly and outwardly—to create a better, safer future.
I remember with deep sorrow and respect all the beautiful lives lost. May they rest in peace.